LIfe on Pluto - a morning revisiting my old life.

We went to court and Jay Asperger had his day of glory. Well, at least that's what I assume he thinks happened. In truth, he was his usual pathetic self.

It started late on Thursday evening, with a phone call from my solicitor. 'Hello Mrs Asperger, it's Paul Harker here. I'm sorry to disturb you so late but I was wondering if you have any recent evidence that Pip will need lifelong care?' 'I'm sorry, I haven't but it's a lifelong affliction. Even the Department of Work and Pensions assumes it is. Even the NAS website says it's lifelong. I can print out the web page if it will help.' 'Thanks and I'll meet you at quarter past nine tomorrow.'

It sounded ominous, Jay Asperger was obviously coming out fighting. I didn't sleep a wink that night.

The next morning, I drove to the court in the nearby city and met a breezy Mr Harker in the foyer. We went to a small room and set to work. Jay had emailed a financial offer the previous evening. I scanned the document and I would have cried for him, if I had recognised an iota of truth in it. He detailed his depression, which had started the minute he left the marital home, kicked out by a selfish, callous wife. It had peaked in 2008, the year when he remarried, necessitating six weeks of recuperation. There aren't many men who marry a rich, younger woman and feel depressed, but this one managed it. Her honeymoon must have been as disappointing as mine. Poor sod!

He wrote that his new marriage was in dire straights because I repeatedly refused to sell the marital home and give him half of the proceeds. His new wife's extended family were so concerned about his inability to provide any cash that it was causing friction in their little feathered nest. Besides, at 51 and 44 respectively, they wanted to sell their three bedroomed home and buy something bigger, so they could start a family. I gasped in horror 'Asperger's is genetic, it's hereditary and it is more likely in older fathers. Besides, she's 44' Mr Harker replied 'at 44 it's still theoretically possible.' I was piqued, so quipped 'at my age it's still theoretically possible, I'm more concerned what they would breed.'

We went back to our study. I ploughed through his assertions that I was letting the house go to rack and ruin, which clearly indicated that I couldn't look after the family. The house needed to be sold immediately, in order to protect his investment. 'That hurts,' I said 'the house was a mess when he left. In fact, he was the one who took the double glazing out of the sitting room window. I've spent a fortune on the things which count, like the plumbing and the central heating.' Mr Harker duly noted my comments then walked towards the door 'I'll just go down and have a chat with him, I won't be long, I'll leave all the paperwork here and be back before we go in.'

He wasn't long, he came back almost immediately after, sitting down and hastily writing with his usual fountain pen. 'He won't talk. But he has got a nasty temper on him. He appeared so polite and relaxed, I asked him something and he immediately became angry. Litigants in person are always trouble.'

Time passed quickly and soon we were being ushered into the court room, a large, bland office. Within minutes, Jay had started his tirade. 'I've never seen any diagnosis for Pip, I have no proof that he has Asperger's Syndrome.' The judge looked at me and I quietly confirmed that Dr Asperger had been sent a copy of the diagnosis after it had been made. I offered to show him the relevant part of Pip's speech therapy report, where he was described as have a high degree of Asperger's Syndrome. Jay snatched the report up and sneered 'there's no date on this, it isn't valid' I timidly said 'it was written for his SENDIST tribunal, in 2006.' 'Yes well, it's out of date. He may have had it when the diagnosis was made but I don't think it is current. He phoned me last year and told me he attends army cadets and has friends. He hasn't got Asperger's now.'

I sat and listened in shock. He was using his ignorance and indifference to argue a pathetic, stupid case. I took a deep breath and squeaked out 'May I just say a word about that please?' The judge nodded.

'You speak of friends, he doesn't understand the meaning of the word. He thinks they are friends but they shout down the street at Nina and Alex 'Your brother's a retard!' One of them was so persistent that I had to complain to the local high school and he was excluded for two days.

He's in a special school, the second one in four years. The last one couldn't cope with him and he had to leave. He wouldn't speak to his teacher last term, having to be excused from lessons. He has been on a behavioural management plan for three of his four years at specialist schools. He regularly runs away and has to be kept away from some children because they bully him. He recently hit a boy in college and has a black mark on his record because of it.'

'Well, that's enough evidence to convince a court that Pip will need support in adult life' said the judge.

'Yes, well' droned Jay, in his best keeping-his-temper voice 'I'm sorry but I'm an engineer. I deal in facts and truths, that is just hearsay. I don't deal in hearsay. I need evidence.'

'Do I understand that you object to the evidence Mrs Asperger has just presented, which would be enough to convince a court?' questioned the judge. I was beginning to warm to his common-sense.

'I only deal in facts and truths, this is just hearsay, there is no evidence.'

'So you are suggesting that Pip undergoes further assessment. He must have had quite a lot of assessments over the last few years. I'm rather concerned about the effect of this on Pip's mental health. I don't think it will be good for him.'

But Jay could smell success, he was inches away from stopping me from applying for maintenance, as the previous judge had ruled. 'We need an up-to-date, correct diagnosis.'

'Very well, I will direct that Pip has to be reassessed,' the judge shook his head and started writing 'Mrs Asperger, will you pay half the costs of the assessment?' Thus I found myself agreeing to pay for an assessment, by a second rate psychologist, for a diagnosis I didn't dispute. Bastard!

The case was postponed for another six months, so that Pip could meet another stranger. I knew I was lining up trouble for myself, so I made a last ditch effort to limit the damage. 'When Dr Asperger insisted upon a further valuation, Pip became very upset and I had to calm him down for a week beforehand. He was very distressed by it all and he took his anger out on me. It seems unfair that I have to bear the brunt of his distress and I know how much this will upset him. Could Dr Asperger write to Pip and explain to him why he is insisting upon the assessment, please?'

'Oh no, I cannot insist upon that,' said the arbiter of justice. Mr Harker concurred. Jay moaned 'He won't talk to me, there's nothing I can do' and that was that, male arrogance ganging up against me, the only one who really cared about the child's well being.

Within seconds we were out of that bland, horrid room, bustling amongst the throng in the reception area. I turned my head to Mr Harker 'I told you Jay Asperger was a wanker'. 'Don't waste your compliments on the man' came the instantaneous reply.

We walked back to the shopping centre; me loping along in ridiculously high heeled shoes and the petit Mr Harker walking neatly beside me. I cursed my choice of shoes, damn, I should have chosen some which didn't highlight the height difference. I needed him to feel sorry for me and it isn't easy for a short man to feel sorry for a huge, galumping woman who towers above him. 'Don't think he behaves like that because he hates me, that's what he was like when he was supposedly happily married' I moaned, rather deflatedly. 'Yes, he's not a nice man, you were wise to get out.' he replied as we parted.

I phoned Nina, to prepare her for my return, the financial settlement no further advanced, begging her not to tell Pip the news.

The drive back was a relief, time to recharge my batteries in preparation for Pip's reaction. I drove into the drive and Alex opened the door immediately. 'How are you, did you see him? Was he nasty? Are you ok? Was it awful?' His arm went round me and he guided me into the house. Jordan, the neighbour's son was hovering in the sitting room. 'I dunno what's wrong, but come here,' he said as he wrapped me in a huge bear hug. I started crying but Pip came over, launching into the swearing which is becoming increasingly common in him 'The bastard, what's he said, why hasn't he made an agreement, the evil bastard, I'll go round and smash his face with a baseball bat.' 'You'll do no such thing,' I warned 'we didn't make a settlement because he's disputing your disability. He wants you to have another assessment.' I looked up at him anxious for a response. I got it, he ran out screaming abuse at me, along the path to the drive. I stopped to talk to Nina, then marched out after him 'Pip, I'm sorry, it's not my fault. I don't need the assessment, I've already got the diagnosis.'

'You've got to give it to him, then he won't need to have me assessed. He shouted, tears running down his face 'it's all your fault, you didn't tell him.'

'I gave him a copy of the diagnosis when it was done, back in 2005. He's already seen it, he doesn't believe it, he says you are cured now.'

'It's not true, I hate my life, I hate having Asperger's, I hate being like this and now he's saying that it's not true and I'm normal. The bastard!' he gripped my arm, squeezing it tightly until I gasped with the pain. I sat down beside him, holding his shoulders in my arms and gently rocking him. 'Don't worry, we can have it done here and I'm sure they will be very nice.'

'Very nice!' he spat in anger 'you said that about the last ones, that woman from the LEA, she was nasty. Then you made me go and see that nasty man in Bristol. He was horrid. I knew it as soon as I met him. He wasn't nice to me and he was so, so, so what's that word that means that he thinks he's better than me?'

'Condescending?' I hazarded a guess, the sharp stones in the drive beginning to rip my tights.

I negotiated a return to the house, calming him down as we walked. We got as far as the sitting room before he exploded again, shouting that he was going to run away, that I would never find him, that East Midlands Airport was only a few miles away. This time he ran up the stairs, he was almost at the top before I reached him and we sat on the wooden floor, cramped into two steps as he swore at me, accusing me of collusion with the enemy, his father.

Slowly we uncurled and walked down stairs. I sat down before I saw him dialling his father's number. Tired from lack of sleep, the emotions of listening to the man I had once loved arguing to save money at the expense of his own children, from quietly sitting in that dull, characterless room whilst three men, all ignorant of special needs but delighting in their over-inflated opinions of themselves, elbowed me, the one person who knew about the subject, out of the conversation, I left Pip to the call, confidant that his father would have switched his phone off, to avoid the awkward questions. But he hadn't and I listened to Pip questioning him why he had demanded the assessment when he knew it would cause upset. We had reckoned without the glibness of Jay's lies and he dismissed the accusation for what it was, a minor upset caused by a vulnerable child who he could easily dominate. Pip turned to me and told me that Jay had not made any demands at all, it was all at the insistence of the judge, totally out of the hands of Jay. Normally I would have let it go, but this time I couldn't. Jay must have heard me as I screamed that it was all a lie, 'because that was what Jay Asperger does, he lies.' He'll use it against me, he always does. I can almost hear his thought waves 'she just shouted abuse, she's like that, just screams for no reason at all.' and for one horrid moment I felt I was back in that nasty, evil little topsy-turvy world he had invented and lived in.